On Sunday, June 2, 2024, I conducted an unplanned intervention. Since I started working at the massage parlor, I’ve seen more clearly the problem I had researched before: that female masseuses are often targets of harassment by customers. But what about male masseuses? At the parlor where I work, there is one male masseuse who is very skilled—he even teaches others how to massage. He has a few regular customers, but significantly fewer than the other masseuses. Some days, he only gets two customers. Whenever a new customer arrives and I ask, “Are you okay with having a male masseuse?” every customer immediately declines, whether they are female or male. I can somewhat understand that women might feel uncomfortable being touched by a man, but I can’t help but question why it’s okay for women to touch men. Or perhaps it’s because this type of service is stereotypically seen as a woman’s job, making it normal for the opposite gender interaction (women touching men) to be accepted because it’s what everyone sees as normal.
Later that day, there was a rush of customers in the evening, possibly because the good weather had everyone out walking in the park, leaving them sore and tired. One of these customers was a man who called to book an appointment for 9:30 PM. According to the parlor’s policy, any massage after 9:30 PM requires an additional overtime fee for the masseuse, on top of the regular service charge. He called to book a one-hour massage. I explained the parlor’s policy to him, and he agreed. I then informed him that the only available masseuse at that time was male, and at first, he wasn’t okay with it. He asked if there was anyone else because he really wanted a massage but preferred a female masseuse. When I confirmed that only the male masseuse was available and told him it was fine if he didn’t want to proceed, he eventually agreed, possibly due to his strong desire for a massage. (Scheduling decisions are based on the available slots for that day, and in this case, all the other masseuses had already been informed but wanted to go home.)
Initially, based on his demeanor, I could tell that he was somewhat displeased about having a male masseuse. But after the massage, his attitude changed. He even booked an appointment for the following week with the same male masseuse, thanking me (though not very wholeheartedly) for recommending him because he was able to address his problem effectively.
From this experience, I drew a few conclusions:
- Stereotype of service jobs: This type of service is typically associated with women. If a man provides the service, customers will immediately reject it. However, once they open their minds, customers who seek a massage to relieve symptoms will ultimately choose a skilled masseuse who can help them, like this male masseuse. There are 2-3 female customers who I’ve recommended to try a massage with Chao, and they’ve been consistently coming back to him.
- Female customers are more open-minded: Female customers tend to be more open to trying a massage with a male masseuse than male customers. As I mentioned, I try to encourage all customers, regardless of gender, to give the male masseuse a chance. Of those who agree to try, 2 out of 3 are female customers.
- Arab male customers’ attitude: Arab male customers tend to speak to female staff differently than they do to male staff. In this case, the customer was a 29-year-old man from Dubai. The way he spoke to me initially made it clear that he was displeased and didn’t respect me simply because I am a woman. Even though he eventually agreed with my recommendation, he still didn’t fully acknowledge that what I suggested was genuinely good.
Feedback: In the end, once the male customer saw the skill of the male masseuse, he decided to return for more services. The gender barrier diminished, and he became more open to receiving services from a male in this industry. He overcame the gender issue and prioritized ability over gender. It was clear that he was quite satisfied, to the point where he booked another appointment with the same masseuse.
